The Gap Between Knowing and Doing: What Holds Leaders Back From Real Growth
By Agnieszka Girling
“The Distance between Not Knowing and Knowing is Great; the Distance between Knowing and Doing is Greater.” — Charles Kettering
Since leaving my career in high-tech, I’ve worked as an executive coach to dozens of leaders across industries. One pattern has become unmistakably clear: there’s a pivotal moment in the coaching journey where clients are most likely to disengage: it’s when they’re asked to act on the insight about what holds them back—to move from knowing to doing.
While many of my clients push through this transition and achieve profound personal and professional growth, today I want to reflect on those who don’t. Because their struggle reveals something important.
The Coaching Journey: From Insight to Action
Leaders who seek coaching usually arrive with sincere intent. They want to improve how they work, lead, and live. They’re often aware of a gap between their intentions and their results, and they’re willing to explore how they themselves contribute to that gap.
The early phase of coaching is rich with self-reflection. It demands humility, curiosity, and a genuine hope for change. Clients often find this phase enlightening—even when it reveals uncomfortable truths. Many are relieved to finally see the patterns that have been holding them back.
But then comes the hard part.
Why Is Doing So Much Harder Than Knowing?
This is where I’ve lost clients. Some quietly drift away. Others say it outright: “This is too hard.” And they’re not wrong. Here’s why:
Self-knowledge is private; action is public. Taking action means admitting—often publicly—that we’ve been wrong or need to change. That requires vulnerability and a deep reserve of humility.
Change is uncertain. Letting go of familiar behaviors can feel like losing control. The fear of what change might cost us—status, stability, identity—can be paralyzing.
Habits don’t change overnight. We admire role models and think we can emulate them. But we forget the inner work they’ve done. Real change demands self-observation, impulse control, openness to feedback, and relentless practice. It’s not glamorous. It’s gritty.
How to Move from Knowing to Doing
If you’re at that inflection point, here’s what helps:
Clarify your “why.” What’s the reward at the end of this effort? Make it vivid and personal.
Name the cost of not changing. What will happen if you stay the same? Sometimes the pain of inaction is the strongest motivator.
Set behavioral goals—and understand your barriers. Like a New Year’s resolution that fades by February, good intentions aren’t enough. You need clarity on what you want to do and why you usually don’t.
Enlist accountability partners. A coach, therapist, trusted friend, or life partner can help you stay the course. Ideally, someone trained to navigate the complexities of personal change.
Keep learning. Stay immersed in the process of transformation. Here are a few resources I recommend:
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg – my personal favorite on habit formation.
Immunity to Change by Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey – a powerful framework for uncovering hidden commitments that block change.
The leap from knowing to doing is where transformation lives. It’s uncomfortable, yes—but it’s also where the magic happens.
